Fun Size Episode 75 – Literal Toilet Money [CLIP]

We’re back yet again with our 75th Fun Size episode, exclusive for our Patreon supporters!

This month, we’re continuing our talk with Carol Brouillette, and it may be time to crown Dave Bautista as the greatest professional-wrestler-turned-actor of all time. We look at his choices, roles and performances from Knock at the Cabin to Blade Runner 2049, and compare him to his squared circle contemporaries like Dwayne Johnson and John Cena.

Then we chat about the type of gimmicky overpriced restaurants for the uber-rich that marry pretentiousness to a giant price tag. What separates fine dining from obscene performative consumption that doesn’t taste good, isn’t filling, and costs the same as a month’s rent? Can you even feel like a good person eating something like that?

To unlock this episode in its entirety — and many episodes more! — just support us on Patreon with at least one measly dollar a month!

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Podcasta la Vista, Baby! Episode 28 – Terminator: Dark Fate

Choose Your Fate.

This month, we’re joined by Carol Brouillette of the Hands Free Football podcast, and returning (one last time?) to the franchise that made Arnold Schwarzenegger the king of Hollywood in the legacy sequel, Terminator: Dark Fate!

Twenty years after the events of Terminator 2, a young woman living in Mexico City finds herself targeted by two time travelers from an entirely new post-apocalyptic future. One is Grace, a cybernetically-enhanced soldier from the human resistance with orders to protect her, and the other is a new model of Terminator programmed to… you know. But help is soon found in the form of an older Sarah Connor, who saw her son John murdered soon after she prevented SkyNet’s creation, and from the very familiar-looking T-800 Terminator who killed John and spent the last two decades developing a conscience.

We’re Hosting Another Movie Screening to Benefit PNW Starbucks Workers United!

We are proud to announce that Radio vs. the Martians! is going to be returning to The Beacon Cinema to sponsor another theatrical screening to benefit the Pacific Northwest Starbucks Workers United relief fund! And this time, we’re watching one of Arnold’s finest. The one, the only, the increasingly frighteningly plausible science fiction action dystopia: The Running Man.

When: Thursday, March 23rd @ 7:30 pm

Where:  The Beacon Cinema at 4405 Rainier Ave S., Seattle, WA 98118

Cost:   Tickets at $12.50 each, with all admissions for PNW Starbucks Workers United

You can buy tickets now, but seats are limited!


RADIO VS. THE MARTIANS presents …THE RUNNING MAN

If you have never seen this seminal piece of 80’s sci-fi action absurdity, you’re our next Runner.

Directed by Paul Michael Glaser (yes, that’s Detective Starsky), who would later gift all of humanity with KAZAAM, THE RUNNING MAN‘s B-movie, primed-for-video-rental-shelves aesthetic is smashed together with God-Emperor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s A-list charisma.

Arnold plays falsely-convicted war criminal Ben Richards, whose punishment consists of “voluntary” participation on America’s Most Popular Game Show™ THE RUNNING MAN. Can he survive being hunted by increasingly cartoonish “Stalkers,” celebrity killers who rip and tear for top ratings? Will there be a parade of satisfyingly bombastic kills? Will Arnold deliver the best comebacks ever written (penned by Die Hard scribe Stephen E. DeSouza)? You bet your sweet ass!

A cast of recognizable 80s regulars accompany Arnold, including Maria Conchita Alonso, Yaphet Kotto, Jesse “The Body” Ventura, Mick Fleetwood and Dweezil Zappa, to name a few. And we would be remiss if we didn’t include Family Feud host Richard Dawson, as the delightfully malevolent Damon Killian.

Although based on one of Stephen King’s early novels (under the pseudonym Richard Bachman), very little of the original material survives, instead being supplanted by a glorious pastiche of 80s action, sci-fi and pop culture tropes. Sautéed in TOP GUN and BEVERLY HILLS COP composer Harold Faltermeyer’s delicious synthwave score, this film is a treat for the senses.

This screening is sponsored by the RADIO VS. THE MARTIANS! podcast as a benefit for the PACIFIC NORTHWEST STARBUCKS WORKERS UNITED labor union, and 100% of the admissions will be donated to their Relief Fund.

Podcasta la Vista, Baby! Episode 27 – Raw Deal

The system gave him a raw deal. Nobody gives him a raw deal.

We’re back! This month, we’re slicking back our hair and dodging cakes with Joe Preti, and infiltrating the inner circle of the mostly-forgotten organized crime action flick: Raw Deal!

Disgraced ex-FBI agent Mark Kaminsky is living in exile as a small town sheriff when he’s contacted by an old mentor from the bureau. Thirsty for revenge after his son was killed protecting a witness in the Luigi Patrovita mob trial, he sends Kaminsky deep undercover — and off the books — into the Patrovita inner circle. Now this one-man wrecking crew must enact bloody revenge and perhaps earn his job back in the FBI.

Podcasta la Vista, Baby! Episode 26 – Pumping Iron

“Blood is rushing into your muscles and that’s what we call The Pump. Your muscles get a really tight feeling, like your skin is going to explode any minute, and it’s really tight – it’s like somebody blowing air into it, into your muscle. It just blows up, and it feels really different. It feels fantastic.”

This month, we’re hitting the weights and getting a good pump with Dave Brouillette, as we bench press the 1977 bodybuilding docudrama that got Arnold noticed in Hollywood: Pumping Iron!

Cameras document – or is it dramatize? – the lives of the world’s leading bodybuilders as they prepare to compete for their sport’s top 1975 amateur and professional championships. One is junior high school teacher, Mike Katz, who aspires to the title of Mr. Universe. Another is shy underdog, Lou Ferrigno, who hopes to flex his way to the title of Mr. Olympia. But to do that, he must topple the reigning five-time returning champion, a certain popular and charismatic Austrian, just a couple years away from Hollywood superstardom.

Podcasta la Vista, Baby! Episode 25 – Junior

Nothing is inconceivable.

This month, we’re enjoying some franks in a blanket with longtime friend of the show, Kirby Green, and re-examining the much-maligned and universally-panned Arnold Schwarzenegger pregnancy comedy: Junior!

After his miracle fertility drug, Expectane, is rejected by the FDA for human trials and the university has terminated his funding, research geneticist Dr. Alex Hesse is ready to return home to Austria to start over. But his project partner, obstetrician Dr. Larry Arbogast, has a radical idea to prove their drug works: an off-the-books experiment with a human subject – Alex himself. Now the world’s first pregnant man, Alex must cope with his changing body, a new romance, his fluctuating hormones, and a growing emotional bond with his baby.

Podcasta la Vista, Baby! Episode 24 – Maggie

A father’s duty is to protect his daughter.

This month, we’re joined by author and chair of the Puget Sound Socialist Party, Chelsea Rustad to explore perhaps the most unexpected and interesting departure from the expected Schwarzenegger oeuvre, an independent zombie family drama: Maggie!

As civilization buckles under a deadly zombie pandemic, farmer Wade Vogel retrieves his runaway teenage daughter, Maggie, after she’s been infected with the incurable virus. Hoping to spare her an inhumane government quarantine and struggling to cope with his inability to protect her, Wade brings Maggie home to care for her in her last days. As her condition worsens, Wade wonders if he can bring himself to do the unthinkable.

Podcasta la Vista, Baby! Episode 23 – The 6th Day

They picked the wrong man to clone.

After more than a year, we’re back! We’re backing up our syncords and eating some nacho-flavored bananas with the Camp Director and President of Camp Quest NorthWest, Michael Warbington, because this month we’re talking about the near-future sci-fi thriller: The 6th Day!

After a case of mistaken identity, charter pilot Adam Gibson returns home to find himself replaced with a clone. Suddenly, he’s on the run from seemingly unkillable cloned assassins and marked for death by a powerful businessman who must keep his illegal human cloning program a secret at all costs. Now Adam must team up with his own clone to save his family, uncover the truth, and prove his own identity.

Black Ops Episode 19 – Whoa: Keanu Reeves in Theory and Practice [DECLASSIFIED!]

[As we continue our show hiatus, it has been decided by the fine people who support us on Patreon that we are going to make public — or ‘declassify’ — one of our Patreon-exclusive Black Ops episodes every month. This month, our patrons have personally selected this episode to help fill the gap! Consider it a look back at the ‘Before Times’]

Original Patreon release date: December 28, 2019

In a discussion recorded back in November 2019, we try to decide in real-time if Terminator: Dark Fate warrants being covered on Podcasta la Vista, Baby! or not.

We talk a bit about our coming post-Arnold future and drop a couple hints at a replacement series. And we mention at least one shelved podcast series idea that we decided to not do.

Is it time for Star Wars, among other franchises, to go away for a while? We talk a bit how major media companies keep trying to recreate the success of lightning-in-a-bottle books and movies to diminishing results.

Fun Size Episode 48 – The New Quarantine Titans

As time bends and brains melts in the heart of the “Quar,” we’re joined by longtime friend of the show and writer for Emmys.com, David Gutiérrez… and things get weird.

We get into everything from circumcising our children to wanna-be movie theater comedians. We try to understand the confusing relationship of rockstar film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert, and try to figure out when Bruce Willis and Harrison Ford stopped trying to be good at their jobs.

Finally, we try to retroactively fix the Rambo franchise (and action/revenge films in general) into something a bit less racist and burdened with conservative “white guy baggage.”

Podcasta la Vista, Baby! Episode 22 – True Lies

When he said I do, he never said what he did.

This month, we’re joined by Rebecca Friedman of Ask an Atheist to revisit the always thrilling and often problematic action-spy comedy that reunited Arnold with director James Cameron, True Lies!

To his wife Helen and their young daughter, Harry Tasker is a boring computer salesman, always away on one of his dull business trips. But Tasker has been living a double life as Harry Rinquest, globe-trotting secret agent and counter-terrorism operative for the secretive Omega Sector. But the lies separating Harry’s two lives crumble as Helen is suddenly thrust into a plot involving a Middle Eastern terrorist cell, stolen nuclear warheads, and a beautiful femme fatale. Now Harry must save the world, rescue his daughter and revive his troubled marriage.

Black Ops Episode 19 – Whoa: Keanu Reeves in Theory and Practice [CLIP]

In a discussion recorded back in November, now exclusive to our Patreon supporters, we try to decide in real-time if Terminator: Dark Fate warrants being covered on Podcasta la Vista, Baby! or not.

We talk a bit about our coming post-Arnold future and drop a couple hints at a replacement series. And we mention at least one shelved podcast series idea that we decided to not do.

Is it time for Star Wars, among other franchises, to go away for a while? We talk a bit how major media companies keep trying to recreate the success of lightning-in-a-bottle books and movies to diminishing results.

To unlock this episode in its entirety — and many episodes more! — just support us on Patreon with at least one measly dollar a month!

Join us!

Black Ops Episode 18 – An Inspiring Racist [CLIP]

In our new Christmas Eve episode, exclusive to our Patreon supporters, we get both deadly serious and a little bit frivolous.

First, we glance at a brief history of famous pieces of shit who’ve done awful things –  from Michael Jackson and Bill Cosby, to Harvey Weinstein and George Zimmerman – and the people who refuse to believe their accusers.

Then, we delve into what the James Bond franchise loosely calls “series continuity.” We explore the popular fan theory that “Bond” is just a codename and that the different actors who played 007 are different people altogether.

Plus, we think Dave Bautista is really, really great.

*editorial note* – Mike gets the name wrong. It’s Jimmy Saville, not Jeremy.

To unlock this episode in its entirety — and many episodes more! — just support us on Patreon with at least one measly dollar a month!

Join us!

Podcasta la Vista, Baby! Episode 21 – Jingle All the Way

Two Dads, One Toy, No Prisoners.

Put that cookie down! Now! Because, this month, Christmas is coming early! We’re getting into the holiday spirit with librarian Kit Laika, to unwrap Arnold’s holiday comedy Jingle All the Way!

Workaholic salesman Howard Langston hasn’t been the world’s greatest dad. Habitually breaking his promises to spend time with his young son, he vows to make it up to him with a coveted Turbo Man action figure for Christmas. The only problem is that Turbo Man is the hottest toy of all time, and Howard has waited until the last minute. Now, he must contend with an unhinged rival father, an amorous neighbor, stampeding shoppers, a gang of bootlegger Santas, and a vicious pet reindeer, in order to find the elusive toy in time for Christmas, and finally keep a promise to his son.

Podcasta la Vista, Baby! Episode 20 – Red Sonja

A woman and a warrior that became a legend.

This month, we’re back in the Hyborean Age to battle wizards and monsters with Tobiah Panshin of the House of Jack and Stan to test our mettle against the third and most poorly-received of Arnold’s fantasy epics: Red Sonja!

When her family is murdered and her body defiled by soldiers of the mad Queen Gedren, a vengeful Red Sonja is gifted with great power to take her revenge. Sonja’s help is sought by a dying priestess when Gedren steals an ancient Talisman with the power to make or destroy worlds. Now with the aid of the mighty Lord Kalidor of Hyrkania, Red Sonja must battle to the center of a kingdom of perpetual night to destroy the Talisman, and save the world!